Visitation: Day 1

Our family made it through the first night.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013, was the first night for Jayson's visitation at Glenn Abbey Mortuary. It had been over a week since Jayson was taken from our home in Murrieta by the Riverside Coroner's office. This would be the first time we see him in the casket. I was nervous about seeing him again and questions filled my mind. How would I react when I first see him? How would Henry & our kids react? Would the mortuary do a good job in preparing Jayson? Would he look like Jayson? The questions kept coming.






Henry, Kristen, Keilani & I arrived just before 4:00 p.m. Justin was already in the parking lot when we arrived and we waited for him to get changed before we enter the chapel as a family.  There were a few other family members there already, but the doors would not be open for public viewing until 5:00 p.m. Henry, our kids and I were allowed to go in at 4:15 p.m. for some private time alone with Jayson.

As we walked in, I noticed the light blue wall across the room, Jayson's favorite color.  It was as if the chapel was customized just for him.  On the right side of the chapel were two TV monitors that showed pictures of Jayson while a solemn music played over the speakers. To the left of the entrance was a table with the guest book, service folders and prayer cards with Jayson's picture on it. Next to it was a basket with a flower arrangement from the Nash family, a family we became friends with while we were stationed in Hawaii. To the right were two seating sections of about 15 rows of benches facing towards the other end of the room.  At the end was Jayson's open casket with a beautiful floral arrangement of blue & white roses on top of it.  Immediately to the left of the casket was a framed portrait of Jayson on canvas. On both sides of the caskets were floor lamps along with an assortment of flower arrangements sent by family, friends and various groups.

As we walked down the aisle towards Jayson, I was surprised I wasn't yet crying or overwhelmed with emotions. There was a peace that came over me as we approached him.  As soon as we got to Jayson's casket, I noticed that Jayson's face looked very peaceful, as if he was just asleep. The mortuary did a great job with Jayson's face.  I had given them a picture of Jayson taken in August of this year to show them how Jayson had looked. I noticed the few strands of hair left on his chin. I was glad they didn't shave off  what was left of his beard as I had requested. He was so proud of the beard that he had just started growing out in August, but most of it was removed while he was in ICU in September. I also noticed that they added a little hair just above his upper lips. Jayson was still bald for the most part, but I did notice that his hair was just starting to grow out again. Overall, I think Jayson would've been pleased with the touch ups that were done.

I touched Jayson's face and said a short prayer. I then noticed the tears slowly coming and I  wasn't alone. Justin, Kristen & Keilani were all solemn and Henry was quiet and was pleased when he saw Jayson. Like me he was in peace and comforted in knowing Jayson was no longer suffering, but with his heavenly Father.

Keilani's note to her Kuya Jayson

After a few minutes, we began adding final touches around the casket. We had brought some strands of cranes that were hanging in Jayson's room. We placed a string of colorful cranes on each side of Jayson. The color just jumped out against the cream-colored padding they were on and next to Jayson's white long-sleeve polo shirt. Keilani wrote a note to Jayson and we put it next to Jayson along with our family picture. We also placed a rosary on his hands. We added another string of cranes above Jayson's portrait and at the podium. Once we finished adding the final touches, we just spent some quiet time reflecting on what we were seeing. We took some pictures and then invited other family members to come in a little early to pay their respect to Jayson.

In the back of the room, near the entrance, my sister, Jannette, and other family members displayed pictures of Jayson with family & friends.  They also added more strings of cranes on the collages.  It was great to see Jayson smile and personality in the pictures.

More people began filing in and made their way to Jayson. The eyes of many of them were filled with tears as they looked at him. Some touched him, while others just stared at him and said a prayer. Most of them had visited Jayson at the hospital or at home. Those who weren't able to were more overwhelmed at seeing Jayson because the last time that many had seen Jayson was while he was in remission or when he had a full head of hair. Most visitors came to express their condolences to me, Henry and other family members throughout the night.

At 6:00 p.m. we began the rosary and completed the 9th day of the novena we had started the day Jayson passed away.  After the novena, we again invited visitors to approach Jayson if they wanted to. I wasn't able to talk to everyone who came the first night, but I remember most of them who were there. We are very grateful to all who came to say "good-bye" to Jayson during the first visitation.

At 7:00 p.m. my brother played a video montage he made that shared Jayson's story through words and pictures. (I will post video separately later this week.) Watching the video brought a range of emotions and many tears. This was the very first time most of us had seen it and Jerry did a great job producing the slide show.

I know that our family is not the only ones who have been heavily affected by Jayson's passing.  We know there are many who are grieving and hurting as much as we are. During the latter part of the visitation a few of Jayson's friends and cousins shared their fond memories of him during the eulogies. Some brought laughter while others brought out tears.  Jayson has touched so many lives and he will be missed dearly. We know that God called Jayson home because he had completed his mission on earth, but even knowing that doesn't lessen the pain we now feel.

We were able to get through the first night of visitation with the help of so many people such as our family, friends and the staff of Glenn Abbey. A special thanks to Auntie Luz, Jeanette & Celia and other co-workers from Microwave Solutions who managed all the food donated by visitors in the hospitality room which allowed us the time to talk to Jayson's visitors. Thank you to everyone who was able to come by the first night.