Praying For A Miracle

We just finished the weekly family meeting about an hour ago and it was another difficult and emotional time. These meetings always seem to bring out my tears and this meeting was no different. We met in Jayson's room this time around instead of the staff lounge.  It was important to have Jayson be included in the meeting especially since he was awake.  Present in the meeting and forming a circle were Jayson's medical team, our social worker, Jayson, Henry & I. Also in the room, sitting at the far end corner, next to the window were Grandma Del, Grandma Lucy & Grandma Ester. I sat next to Jayson's bed, holding Jayson's left hand and Henry was to my left. I always dread these meetings, but it was very important for all of us to meet regularly to make sure we were all on the same page and that our wishes were clear to Jayson's medical team.

I remember taking a deep breath as the meeting began and bracing myself. As Jayson's ICU doctor began to speak, I already sensed something was different today. Call it a hunch or mother's intuition, but whatever it was, I dreaded this meeting even more. I soon learned why.

We learned that Jayson's liver has gotten worst from the previous day. His liver is now worse than it has ever been despite some of the changes that were made yesterday to prevent it from getting worse.  His doctors believe the deterioration of his liver is due to cancer. They are also seeing that his kidney is starting to fail once more. Again, this is most likely due to the cancers in his body. The chest x-ray from this morning indicates that the mass in his lower lung has grown and there is still fluid in his lungs. As I've indicated before, fluid in his lungs can cause Jayson to have respiratory problems. Jayson may eventually need to use a BiPap mask once again to help him breathe.

As we've experienced these past 3.5 weeks, Jayson's condition can change so drastically from one minute to the next. Prior to today, the doctors' goal was try to get Jayson well enough to go home. But, today, they don't think this is possible. They can't predict how much time Jayson still has with us. The doctors' goal has now shifted to comfort care.  They will try to keep him as comfortable and pain-free as possible. We want to minimize any suffering Jayson may endure.

We have to look and see if what we're doing for Jayson is actually helping him or just prolonging the inevitable. His ICU doctor gave us some recommendations as to what medications and procedures can be stopped and what should be continued. But the final decisions as to what changes to make will be up to Henry & I. They said they will be able to give us their opinions and guidelines to help us make an informative decision. They will also honor and follow our instructions and wishes. However, the difficult part for Henry & I is to decide on what these instructions and wishes are.

Please join us as we pray and contemplate on the decisions Henry & I need to make. Please pray that God guides us in making the right decisions. Also pray that they will be decisions that we both agree on and are in peace with.

At this point, there's nothing else that Jayson's doctors can due to cure him. It's all up to our Universal Physician, our Heavenly Father, our Savior and our Healer. We have lifted Jayson up to Him in the very beginning, and now we wait for His answer. Please pray for a miracle for Jayson!